FILM REVIEW: ATTACK GIRLS' SWIM TEAM VERSUS THE UNDEAD

Attack Girls’ Swim Team Versus the Undead

Released: 2008

Starring: Mizuka Arai, Yuri Hidaka, Hidetomo Nishida

Written by: Satoshi Owada

Directed by: Koji Kawano

Um, did I just see what I think I just saw?

What I mean is, was this actually a movie, or did I just imagine it? I’m at a loss here, dear readers. I just can’t ascertain exactly what it is that happened before my eyes when I popped this DVD into my player. I expected amovie, I know that much. I expected it to be … well, what’s a good word? …bonkers? Yeah, that’s about right. That’s about what I expected this to be: abonkers movie. But it was beyond all that. Beyond any reasonable definition of “bonkers,” beyond any reasonable definition of “movie,” for that matter.

There were moving images on my TV screen. Scenes ofstuffhappening. Characters appeared. Lines were spoken. There was something going on in a high school, where students were being infected with some arcane virus. The infected were turning into zombies, or something. They killed some students and teachers, possessed others. The only ones left uninfected were the girls’ swimteam members. And while they attempted to defend themselves against these vicious, bloodthirsty creatures, they also had a swim competition to prepare for. Oh, and some of the girls were becoming lesbians. Because of a strange new girl who also happened to be a trained assassin? I think?

Maybe it made perfect sense and I just didn't get it.

Think,La Femme NikitameetsStacymeetsThe Story of OmeetsDead Alivemeets ... uh ... meets a hammer to the head! There you go. That sums it up perfectly.

Hell, I'm not even sure what I justwrote. But Idoknow that it makes more sense than the movie.

I think.

SHARP OBJEX Rating: 1.5 out of 4

'Attack Girls'...' Trailer (viewer discretion advised)

Attack Girls Swim Team Versus The Undead
by expatpaul

'Attack Girls' ...' is available from Adv Films

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